A Mother's Wish Read online

  ‘Don’t get yourself into a state. He’s a bright boy, and I’m sure he’s got the sense to keep away from danger of all sorts.’

  ‘He’s only thirteen, Toby. He’s just a child.’

  ‘I was on the road at that age, and look at me now.’ Toby beat his breast with his fists and his dazzling blue eyes danced with merriment. ‘Well, maybe I ain’t the best of examples, but I’ll wager that young Tom is doing all right, and we’ll soon find him.’

  ‘You’ll help me then?’ Effie held her breath; she had known that he would but she wanted to hear it again from his own lips.

  ‘I’ll do my damnedest, ducks.’ The smile faded from his eyes and he leaned towards her. ‘Just tell me one thing, Effie. Are you serious about Frank Tinsley?’

  It was such a direct question that it caught her off guard. It was one that she had been asking herself and she simply did not know the answer. She supposed that she was in love with Frank, but her reaction to his charms might simply have been the desire to belong and to feel beloved again. Looking into Toby’s eyes, she was even more uncertain of her feelings and she shook her head. ‘I don’t know, and that’s the honest truth. Anyway, what is it to you?’

  ‘Well,’ Toby said slowly, as if picking his words with care. ‘It might have some bearing on what we do next.’

  ‘I don’t understand.’

  ‘I’m not suggesting that you leave the fair immediately, but it would be easier if there were two of us looking for young Tom. Would you want to leave your new life and travel like a gypsy?’ He stood up and went to the open door, staring out into the darkness. ‘From what you’ve told me, you’ve found friends here and you can support yourself and young Georgie. Then there’s Frank, the bloke you might or might not have fallen in love with. Would you want to give all this up?’ He turned his head to give her a searching look. ‘I only ask because it’s something you will have to consider, should the need arise.’

  ‘Apart from my son, there’s nothing more important to me than Tom,’ Effie said, clasping her hands and holding them to her breast. ‘All I want is to make a home for us so that we can live together. We’ll never be separated again or be forced to return to the workhouse. I’ll do anything I can to keep us out of that fearful place.’

  ‘I have my answer,’ Toby said seriously. ‘Now I’d best leave and let you get a good night’s sleep.’

  Effie jumped to her feet. ‘But what are you going to do?’

  ‘I dunno yet. I’ll sleep on it and tell you in the morning.’

  He stepped outside and she watched him until his tall figure was enveloped by the darkness. She closed the door wondering if she ought to have offered him a bed for the night, and a smile curved her lips as she imagined the inevitable gossip that would fly round the camp following such an action. But the thought of Frank’s reaction to such a titbit of news sent a chill down her spine. Frank was a complication that she could neither have foreseen nor imagined. She made herself ready for bed, putting him resolutely out of her mind. Tomorrow she must decide whether to leave the fair and accompany Toby in the hope of finding Tom, or to remain where she was and suffer the torment of loving a man who was promised to another.

  The next day dawned warm and sunny with the promise of intense heat later on. The ground was baked hard beneath her feet as Effie made her way to Arnoldo’s van. Flies swarmed over scraps of food thrown out for the dogs that were kept to guard the caravans left unoccupied while their owners worked their stalls, and the valuable horses put out to graze on common land. There was no sign of Toby, but as she paused to pass the time of day with Leah, who was setting up her stall, Effie caught sight of Frank leaning against one of the painted horses on the merry-go-round. He spotted her and waved, his handsome features suffused with a smile that made her heart do a somersault inside her breast.

  ‘Forget him,’ Leah said sternly. ‘He’ll break your heart.’

  Effie dragged her gaze away from the man who looked to her like a sun god with his bare-chested masculinity and chestnut hair gleaming with golden tints. She avoided meeting Leah’s gaze as she shook her head. ‘It’s not like that.’

  ‘I’m glad to hear it,’ Leah said, sounding unconvinced. ‘He’s not for you, ducks. And I don’t think this life is for you either.’

  This made Effie look up, startled. ‘Why do you say that?’

  ‘Because it’s true. Fairground folk are born to the life. They take a partner from another world at their peril and it rarely works. Frank’s future was mapped out for him from the day he was born, and one day he’ll be head man, just like his pa. He needs a woman who understands the way of things, or else it will bring misery to both.’

  Effie could find no answer to this and she merely nodded her head and moved on hastily. She entered Arnoldo’s caravan without knocking and found him curled up on his bunk like an overgrown child. His pale eyelashes were wet with tears and he raised his head only to drop back against the pillows with a deep sigh.

  ‘What’s the matter, Arnoldo?’ Effie approached him cautiously. ‘Are you ill?’

  ‘Sick at heart, little one.’

  ‘It’s Ethel, isn’t it?’

  ‘I love her,’ Arnoldo said, his voice breaking on a sob.

  ‘Then tell her so.’

  ‘I c-can’t. She doesn’t care for me. She’s in love with that bloody blacksmith.’

  Folding her arms across her chest, Effie shook her head. ‘What sort of talk is that for a grown man? How do you know what she feels? Have you asked her?’

  ‘Elmo hates me. And he’s quite right. I’m not good enough for his sister. I may be strong in the body but I’m a coward, afraid of my own shadow.’

  Effie moved swiftly towards the bunk, and before Arnoldo could stop her she pulled the coverlet off him. ‘Get up and prove him wrong. Go out there and sweep Ethel off her feet.’

  He curled up in a tight ball, eyeing her nervously. ‘Don’t strike me, Effie.’

  ‘I’m not going to hit you, you silly man. I’m less than half your size and you toss me around in the act, so why should you fear me, or anyone else for that matter?’

  Arnoldo buried his face in the pillow with a loud groan. Effie couldn’t make out his words but she guessed that it was an admission of defeat, and taking him by the shoulders she shook him. It took a considerable effort, and she only succeeded in creasing his grubby nightshirt, but it seemed to have the desired effect as he hauled himself into a sitting position. ‘Why do you bother with me, Effie? You must think me a poor sort of fellow.’

  Embarrassed by her boldness, she took a step away from his bed. ‘I’m sorry I had to do that, but you must stop being such a baby. You are a fine figure of a man, and you are a kind and gentle person. Any girl would be proud to have you as a suitor, but you must stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get up. Put your clothes on and go to Ethel. Tell her how you feel and allow her to choose between you and Jed, and that foreign chap, Fernando, who keeps making eyes at her.’

  ‘I’m old enough to be her father,’ Arnoldo whispered, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. ‘She’ll think I’m just a silly old fool. It must seem ridiculous for a man of my age to be thinking he stood a chance with such a lovely young thing.’

  Effie picked up his shirt and trousers which had been discarded in a heap on the floor and she tossed them at him. ‘You know what they say, Arnoldo. Faint heart never won fair maid. If you don’t do this you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.’

  ‘And if she rejects me?’

  ‘You will be no worse off than you are now, and I’m sure there are other women who would think themselves lucky to have attracted the attention of a man like you. I’ve seen the way the females in the audience look at you when we perform. You could take your pick.’

  He snatched up his trousers and thrust his feet into them. ‘If you put it like that, perhaps it’s worth a try.’

  Averting her eyes, Effie backed out of the van. ‘I’ll wait outside.’ She stepped out into th
e sunshine, blinking as the bright light hurt her eyes. In between the parked caravans she could see Ethel practising her equestrian act. Brag cantered round in a wide circle as she attempted to stand on his back. Picking up her skirts, Effie ran towards them. ‘Ethel, stop. I must speak to you.’

  Pink-cheeked with heat and exertion, Ethel slid to a sitting position, pulling on the reins until Brag came to a halt beside Effie. ‘What’s up?’

  Effie glanced over her shoulder, but there was no sign of Arnoldo. She hoped he was still getting ready to make his declaration of love and devotion, and had not simply given up. ‘Please get down. There’s something I have to ask you.’

  Ethel leapt to the ground. ‘Well, what is it?’

  ‘Are you in love with anyone, Ethel?’ It was a direct question, but Effie knew she had no time to lose.

  Ethel’s blue eyes opened wide and her soft lips formed a perfect circle as she appeared to consider her answer. She shrugged her shoulders. ‘I might be, but I don’t see it’s got anything to do with you.’

  ‘I know it must seem very rude and quite unforgiveable, but this is very important to someone who is your devoted admirer. He has loved you from afar for quite a long time.’

  ‘Really?’ Ethel said, smiling coyly. ‘Who can you mean?’

  ‘Don’t play games,’ Effie said severely. ‘You know very well who it is, and the poor man is at this moment trying to pluck up courage to speak to you. I’m not saying anything more, but I beg you to be kind to him. If you can’t find it in your heart to love him, please let him down gently.’

  ‘It’s not that easy,’ Ethel murmured with tears welling in her eyes and sparkling on the ends of her long lashes. ‘Elmo won’t allow me to have gentlemen friends. He says I am too young and too scatterbrained to choose for myself.’

  Effie glanced over her shoulder and saw Arnoldo standing at the top of the caravan steps. He was fingering his cravat nervously as he stared in their direction. She seized Ethel’s hand and squeezed it. ‘You know who I mean. I’m not talking about Jed or Fernando, but a good honest man who loves you with all his being.’

  ‘I know,’ Ethel said, fixing her gaze on Arnoldo as he walked slowly towards them. ‘I think I love him too, but Elmo forbids me to have anything to do with him.’

  ‘Be brave. Follow your heart. If you care for Arnoldo he will look after you and your brother will have no say in the matter. This is your chance to stand on your own two feet and not be cowed by Elmo. Your future happiness may depend on what you say now, so good luck.’ She gave Ethel a gentle push in Arnoldo’s direction. ‘I’ll take Brag and make sure he’s safely tethered.’ She took the halter and walked away before Ethel had a chance to protest, but curiosity got the better of her and she paused, looking back in time to see Arnoldo go down on one knee in front of Ethel.

  Brag jerked his head as if to remind Effie that he was eager to get back to the patch of grass where he had been grazing, and she patted his neck. ‘You’re quite right, Brag. They should be left alone to sort things out between them.’

  The horse whickered softly, as if in agreement with her, but as she was leading him back towards the edge of the encampment Effie saw Fernando approaching with Charlie on a lead as if he were walking a large dog. Fernando doffed his wide-brimmed hat and gave her a courtly bow.

  ‘Good morning,’ Effie said hastily as he was about to walk past. She did not want him interrupting the tender scene between Arnoldo and Ethel.

  Fernando hesitated, staring at her with a questioning look in his dark eyes. ‘It is a good morning, yes.’

  He seemed about to move on again, but Effie bent down to stroke Charlie. ‘He is a fine animal.’

  Fernando smiled and twirled his waxed moustache. ‘You like animals, I think.’

  Effie didn’t quite like the way he was eyeing her up and down. He was undoubtedly a handsome fellow but he was obviously well aware of the fact. She suspected that many of the female punters paid their halfpenny more in the hope of receiving a smile from him than a desire to see a large and extremely docile rodent.

  ‘You’re quite right,’ she said coolly. ‘I love all animals.’

  ‘We must share a glass of wine together one evening,’ Fernando said, putting a wealth of meaning into the invitation.

  Effie had not intended to divert his attention by flirting with him, but it seemed that Fernando needed very little encouragement. She managed a half-hearted smile. ‘Perhaps, but I must go now. I have to get back to my child.’

  ‘Ah, yes. There is nothing so stirring to the heart as to see a beautiful woman with her infant.’ He crossed his hands over his heart. ‘I shall come to your fire tonight when all is quiet. We will sit beneath the stars and talk about life.’

  ‘Is this fellow bothering you, Effie?’

  She turned to see Toby standing behind her. ‘We were just passing the time of day.’

  ‘Your rat looks a bit hot, mate. I should get it out of the sun if I was you,’ Toby said, addressing himself to Fernando.

  ‘Charlie is a capybara, not a rat.’ Fernando’s golden earring glinted in the sunlight as he tossed his head. ‘I should call you out for that insult, but I am a man of peace.’ Taking Effie’s hand, he raised it to his lips. ‘We will continue our conversation another time, my lady. Come, Charlie.’ He strode away with Charlie breaking into a trot at his side.

  Effie breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Thanks, Toby. You came just in time.’

  ‘This ain’t the place for you, Effie,’ Toby said, frowning. ‘These fairground people are a rum lot. I’m used to dealing with them but it’s not the life for a girl like you.’

  Effie met his anxious gaze with a smile. ‘They’ve been very kind to me, and I don’t know what I would have done if they hadn’t taken us in.’ She walked on, leading Brag towards the pond where the other horses were grazing.

  Toby fell into step beside her. ‘What happens when we find Tom? Do you want him to lead this sort of life?’

  ‘It’s been good enough for you.’

  ‘That’s not the point. I was raised by gypsies, but you weren’t.’

  ‘I don’t know what I was born to do, Toby. What I do know is that I’m never going back to the workhouse and neither is Tom. I have to find employment somewhere and it was pure chance that led me to the fair. It’s not a bad way to live.’

  Toby shrugged his shoulders. ‘Young Georgie should inherit his grandpa’s business. Are you just going to let those people take it from him?’

  ‘What am I supposed to do? My father-in-law hates me, and he’s under the influence of that villain Salter and his wife. They’ll rob him of everything, and there will be nothing left for Georgie to inherit. I’ve put it all behind me, Toby. It was another life and I’m making the best of what I’ve got now.’

  They had reached a spot close to where the horses grazed and she tethered Brag to a spindly tree.

  ‘We’ll find Tom,’ Toby said slowly. ‘I’ve got a day’s trading here, but when I’ve done I’ll be moving on.’

  ‘I’ve been racking my brains trying to imagine where he would go,’ Effie said, frowning. ‘When he couldn’t find you at the tavern he must have headed off somewhere. What would you do if you were thirteen and looking for someone like yourself?’

  Toby took off his cap, running his hand through his hair. ‘I’d go to fairgrounds and markets where horse dealers meet and trade. But I haven’t seen hide nor hair of the boy.’

  ‘Perhaps he just went to the wrong places. I know that Tom wouldn’t give up. He’ll still be searching for you.’

  ‘Or for you.’ Toby grasped her hand. ‘If he couldn’t find me, perhaps he decided to look for you instead.’

  Effie stared at him, struggling to come to terms with the thought that Tom might have done something as rash as braving her father-in-law and Salter. ‘No,’ she said slowly. ‘He wouldn’t do that. Would he?’

  ‘He’s a boy, Effie. He had no money and nowhere else to go. I think Tom would have
been more worried about you and Georgie than himself. It’s possible he would track along the towpath, looking for the Margaret.’

  ‘Salter will kill him,’ Effie whispered. ‘He’s a bad man and his wife is no better. I saw them dragging my pa-in-law back onto the barge, dead drunk. Sal Salter wanted to toss him overboard but her husband shut her up in case I overheard them, which I did. Who knows, they might have done for the old man already, and Tom too.’ Her voice broke on a sob and Toby put his arms around her, stroking her hair and holding her close.

  ‘We won’t let that happen, Effie. I’ll find a way, I promise you.’

  She drew away from him, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cry all over you. It’s just so – horrible. I can’t bear to think of Tom all alone and in danger.’

  Toby regarded her steadily, and, for once, there was no smile lingering in his eyes. ‘Leave it to me.’ He turned on his heel and strode back into the fairground.

  Effie watched him go with a heavy heart. She seemed to have been living in a dream since she joined the fair. She had thought that everything would come right simply by hoping and praying, but now she realised that she must face reality. There would be no happy ending if Tom confronted the Salters in his search for her. She hurried back to her van, intent on finding Georgie and holding him in her arms as if she could never let him go. She had lost Owen and Tom might have been taken from her. She would keep Georgie safe at all costs.

  Jessie looked up in surprise as Effie burst into the caravan. ‘I thought you was helping Leah on her stall,’ Jessie said, continuing to spoon bread and milk into Georgie’s eager mouth. ‘Have you forgotten something?’

  Effie attempted a smile but her throat was tight with unshed tears of relief. ‘No. I just wanted to make sure that Georgie was behaving himself.’ Georgie gave her a milky grin and opened his mouth wider, like a baby bird demanding more food.

  ‘He’s a little angel, that’s what he is,’ Jessie said happily. ‘If only my brothers were half as good as little Georgie, I’d have a much easier job, I can tell you.’