Mermaids Singing Read online

  Edward’s eyes darkened and he dropped his gaze, staring down at their intertwined hands. ‘You are my father’s wife and I have no right to love you, Bella.’

  ‘We can’t help how we feel about each other.’

  ‘I fell in love with you the first moment I saw you sitting on that bench in St James’s Park,’ Edward said, slowly raising his head.

  Bella felt her heart give an erratic leap as she saw the tortured expression in his eyes, but she forced herself to sit quietly, resisting the almost overwhelming temptation to admit that she didn’t care a jot about honour or loyalty.

  Edward got slowly to his feet. ‘If I’d been an honourable man I would have gone away again without ever setting foot in this house, but I couldn’t let you go, not when I’d just found you. That was my mistake and now we’re both paying for my selfish stupidity.’

  Bella stared up at him, unable to move as the pain of his words shafted through her heart. The tears that she had been struggling to hold back began to flow unchecked.

  ‘Don’t say that, Edward. Please don’t say that.’

  ‘Oh, my darling, don’t cry.’ Edward lifted her to her feet, holding her to him and stroking her hair. ‘I can’t bear to see you hurt and upset, that’s why I have to go away.’

  ‘Go away? You can’t go away.’

  ‘And I can’t stay here under my father’s roof, seeing you every day, knowing that you love me as I love you, but never being able to do anything about it.’

  ‘You can’t leave me. You mustn’t leave me. I’ll die if you go away.’

  Smiling gently, Edward kissed her on the forehead. ‘Part of me will die too, my love, but I’m a professional solder and my wounds are healed. I have to rejoin my regiment and it’s better if I go sooner rather than later, before it’s too late and we do something that we’ll both live to regret.’

  Bella wrenched herself free, anger burning away sorrow. ‘So you’re running away, back to battlefront where you can be a hero and leave me here to suffer the consequences.’

  Edward’s face contorted with pain and he dropped his arms to his sides. ‘My father loves you, I’m certain of that. How could he not? And you have Leonie to consider.’

  Bella stuffed her clenched fist into her mouth to prevent herself from screaming out that his father was a sadistic brute, a cruel bully, who beat her in the name of love in order to satisfy his perverted sexual appetite; but she couldn’t bring herself to tell Edward anything so dreadful about his own father.

  Edward’s strong features crumpled with distress and he took her by the shoulders, looking deeply into her eyes. ‘I don’t know if it’s cowardice or bravery, but I do know that if I stay in this house one night longer I’ll forget you’re a married lady and that I’m supposed to be an honourable gentleman.’

  But I’m not a lady, Bella thought miserably. If you knew the sordid details of my past, my beloved Edward, then you might not be so damned honourable. But, there again, you might walk out on me in disgust. Exhausted by a flood of conflicting emotions, Bella laid her head against his shoulder, unable to speak. She could feel Edward’s heart beating against her breast and his blood drummed to the same beat as her own.

  A sharp rapping on the drawing room door barely registered in her consciousness, she only knew that Edward had pushed her gently away, bidding the person to enter. Looking up, Bella saw that it was Maria.

  Casting an anxious glance at Bella, Edward rose to his feet. ‘What is it, Miss Lane?’

  ‘Lady Mableton asked to be informed as to Nanny Cox’s condition, Sir.’

  ‘I’m coming,’ Bella said, getting to her feet and walking towards the door. She dared not look back at Edward. If she wavered for a moment, she knew that her resolve would crumble and she would never be able to leave him.

  Maria marched on ahead up the stairs to the nursery suite with Bella following close behind. Silently she opened the door to the nanny’s bedroom, where Kitty lay beneath the sheets on the narrow iron bed. Her face was deathly pale with livid blue-black bruises on her temple, around her eyes and mouth, with lips swollen and split.

  Bella’s stomach gave a sickening lurch as she saw teeth marks on the slender column of Kitty’s neck. ‘Poor child! Poor little girl.’

  ‘The doctor gave her a strong dose of laudanum,’ Maria said, straightening the bedclothes. ‘She should sleep for a good few hours.’

  ‘I’ll stay with her,’ Bella said, pulling up a chair. ‘You’d best sleep in Leonie’s room.’

  Maria folded her arms across her chest, frowning. ‘I hope you’re not planning to go to him tonight.’

  Bella sank down onto the hard wooden seat; it was impossible to conceal anything from Maria and she was too exhausted to be angry. ‘That’s all over. He’s leaving in the morning and returning to his regiment.’

  ‘Thank God for that,’ Maria said. ‘You’ve had a lucky escape, my girl.’

  Bella sat up all night, watching over Kitty. Maria came in early next morning and sent her off to bed, insisting that she needed her sleep. It was midday when Bella awakened with a start. In the long, dark hours while she had been sitting at Kitty’s bedside, she had been rehearsing what she would say to Edward to stop him leaving: now it could be too late; he would probably have left the house hours ago. Bella sat up, swinging her legs over the side of her bed, reaching for the bell pull. Her hand closed on the tassel and she hesitated. If she summoned Maria to help her dress, she would have to admit that she was going out alone. Cold unthinking panic seized her. She had to see Edward one last time. If she couldn’t make him change his mind, at least she could say goodbye. If she hurried, she might catch him at the Officers’ Club.

  With Warner away in Bath, the servants had become a bit lax and, as Bella came down the stairs, she breathed a sigh of relief to find that the vestibule was deserted, with not a sign of a footman or hall boy. Her heart pounded erratically against the whalebone cage of her corsets as she opened the front door and slipped outside, very nearly colliding with Giles Rackham.

  ‘Well, good afternoon, Lady Mableton,’ Rackham said, doffing his hat. ‘This is a delightful surprise.’

  ‘I’m afraid the pleasure is not mutual,’ Bella said, sidestepping him.

  ‘Don’t tell me that Lady Mableton is going out unaccompanied even by the trusty Maria,’ Rackham said, following her down the steps. ‘What would Sir Desmond say if he got to hear about it?’

  ‘Mind your own business, Rackham,’ Bella said, waving her parasol as a hansom cab turned the corner of Grafton Street. To her annoyance, it clattered past.

  ‘But my dear Bella, it is my business. As your prospective son-in-law I feel a certain amount of responsibility towards you.’

  Bella turned on him in a fury. ‘Don’t play games with me, Giles. I know you too well.’

  Rackham threw back his head and laughed. ‘What an admission! Shall we tell Sir Desmond about our past, illicit relationship? Now that would be interesting.’

  ‘You’re bluffing. If you tell my husband that I was your mistress, do you think he’d let you marry Iris? He’d kill you, even if he believed you.’ Bella walked on quickly, heading towards Piccadilly, and to her chagrin Rackham fell into step beside her.

  ‘And what would the honourable Captain Edward Mableton think if he knew the truth about you, my pet?’

  ‘Go away.’

  ‘I’ve hit a nerve, I see. You wouldn’t be heading for a secret assignation with the gallant wounded soldier, would you, Bella?’

  Bella stopped and faced him. ‘Don’t talk rubbish.’

  ‘I’ve seen the way he looks at you and I’ve seen the way you look at him. I’m not a fool like your husband. I know there’s something going on between you. Why else would you be out alone, risking censure and gossip?’

  Bella struggled to keep her composure but she felt faint and sick all at the same time. Giles was too clever by half, and he was a dangerous man to cross. She forced a smile. ‘If you must know, I’m goin
g to my modiste to buy a new and very expensive gown, and then on to my milliner to purchase a frivolous and very, very expensive hat, or even two.’

  ‘While your poor sick husband is out of town, that’s very deceitful, Bella my dear, and I wholeheartedly approve.’

  ‘Goodbye then, Giles. You can go and court Iris with a massively guilty conscience.’

  ‘Oh, no, my pet. I wouldn’t miss this for the world. I’m coming with you. I’ll willingly help you to spend your husband’s money, and give you my invaluable advice on choosing your gown and hat. You know I have exquisite taste.’

  With her heart sinking, but unable to think of a plausible excuse, Bella had no choice but to allow Rackham to accompany her to Madame Jolie’s establishment. She painted a smile on her face, but inside she felt as if she were dying slowly and painfully, inch by inch. If she could not contact Edward before he rejoined his regiment, he would be lost to her forever; it took all her skill as an actress to conceal the creeping misery that etched itself into her soul.

  Madame Jolie greeted them with a slick smile and, if she was surprised to see young Lady Mableton arriving accompanied, not by her personal maid but by a gentleman who was most certainly not her husband, she was too much of a professional to show it.

  Bella went through the motions of looking through fashion plates and swatches of dress material, praying inwardly that Rackham would be so bored that he would get up and go, but to her dismay, he appeared to be enjoying himself. She had tried so hard to blot out the memory of their years together that she had forgotten his impeccable taste. Not only did Giles have knowledge of women’s clothing that Bella was sure most women would have considered shocking in an unmarried man, but he also knew exactly what styles and colours suited her best.

  After Rackham had virtually chosen two new outfits for her and had been applauded for his good taste by Madame Jolie, no doubt revelling silently at the thought of the enormous bill that she would be sending to Sir Desmond, Bella was becoming more and more frustrated. Her chances of catching Edward before he left his club receded by the minute.

  In a last desperate attempt to rid herself of his company, Bella suggested that Rackham ought to return to Dover Street, where Iris would be waiting for him, probably seething with rage because he was so late. Rackham merely laughed and said it would do Iris good. She was too accustomed to getting her own way, and he was damned if he’d allow Bella to choose hats without his guidance.

  Two hours later they returned to Dover Street and were met in the vestibule by Iris pacing the floor. She marched past Rackham, ignoring James and George, who were standing stiffly to attention, their expressions carefully controlled. She came to a halt in front of Bella, her face pinched and pale with rage. ‘I might have guessed that this was your doing.’

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, Iris.’

  ‘There’s a name for women like you.’ Iris screamed, clawing her hands in front of Bella’s face, as if she would like to scratch her eyes out.

  With a swift movement, Rackham’s arm deflected the blow. He caught Iris’s wrists in one hand, holding them in an iron grip that brought her wheeling round to glare into his face.

  ‘I think you forget yourself, Madam. This isn’t the sort of behaviour I would expect from a lady to whom I am unofficially affianced.’

  The angry expression wiped from her face, Iris stared at him pale and wide-eyed. ‘Engaged? Giles, you take me by surprise. You’ve never mentioned marriage.’

  ‘I haven’t spoken to your papa as yet, but now I’m not certain if I wish to do so,’ Rackham said, releasing her with a scornful shrug of his shoulders.

  If Rackham had slapped Iris across the face she could not have looked more shocked and, for a moment only, Bella almost felt sorry for her.

  ‘Giles, don’t be angry with me,’ Iris pleaded, running after him as he made to leave. ‘I didn’t mean it. I was upset, and rightly so, that you had broken your promise to take tea with me.’

  Rackham stopped and turned his head to look down at her with raised eyebrows. ‘I think you owe Lady Mableton an apology.’

  ‘Never!’ Iris cried, tossing her head. ‘You can ask anything of me, Giles, but I’ll never apologise to that woman. She’s cast her spell on you as she did first to my papa and then my brother. If she had not turned his head with her simpering smiles and obvious charms, Edward would never have made the decision to leave the house so suddenly, let alone return to his regiment before he was completely well. Now who knows what dangers he might face and it’s all her fault.’

  Horrified, Bella stared at Rackham; this was his chance to denounce her to Iris and bring her whole world crashing down about her ears. He would no doubt take malicious pleasure in seeing her humiliated and thrown out onto the street. She clutched at the curved balustrade, with one foot on the bottom stair tread, ready for flight.

  Rackham hesitated, staring thoughtfully into Iris’s spiteful countenance. Then, raising his eyes to Bella’s, holding her gaze for a long moment, a slow smile spread across his hawkish features. ‘So the gallant captain has run away, has he? My dear Bella, you have the most abominable luck with men.’

  Bella lifted her chin defiantly. She would not let them see that her heart was cracking into shards inside her breast. But it was true and the truth hurt: Edward had run away from the intensity of their feelings for each other. Wouldn’t a real man have stayed and fought for the woman that he loved?

  ‘Goodbye, Giles,’ she said, surprising herself with the calmness of her tone. ‘Thank you for escorting me to my modiste this afternoon. I know I can always rely on you to be present at the wrong time and the wrong place.’

  ‘What does she mean?’ cried Iris. ‘There is something going on between you, I knew it. I shall tell Papa directly he comes home.’

  Rackham tipped his hat in Bella’s direction and she saw a gleam of respect in his dark eyes before he turned an impassive face to Iris. ‘If you wish to see me ever again, Iris, I suggest you moderate your tone and put an end to these wild imaginings.’

  ‘You can’t speak to me like that. I won’t have it.’

  James sprang to open the door, staring straight ahead as Rackham strode out of the house.

  Iris let out a scream of rage and spun around, pointing her finger at Bella. ‘You harlot! You can’t be satisfied with one man, can you? You have to have them all. Wait till I tell Papa what’s been going on in his absence. Just wait.’

  ‘Do what you like, Iris. I’m past caring,’ Bella said, slowly mounting the staircase.

  Even before she opened the door to the nursery suite, Bella could hear Leonie’s high-pitched voice demanding attention and Maria’s low-voiced, grumbling reply.

  ‘What’s the matter with my baby?’ cried Bella, bending down to pick up Leonie as she catapulted towards her, sobbing.

  ‘She’s been a little devil this afternoon,’ Maria said, throwing up her hands. ‘You’ve spoilt that child and no mistake.’

  ‘Mama, Mama,’ sobbed Leonie into Bella’s shoulder. ‘Bad, bad Maria.’

  ‘There, there, poppet,’ crooned Bella. ‘Don’t cry. Mama is here now.’

  ‘It’s no use, Bella. I can’t look after a sick girl and Leonie as well as yourself. Best send Kitty below stairs and let Mrs Brewster see to her.’

  Bella sat down holding Leonie on her lap, trying to ignore the fact that she had smeared jam all over the bosom of her ivory tussore afternoon gown. ‘How is Kitty?’

  ‘Not too good. The police were here again today but she couldn’t or wouldn’t tell them who did it. It’s my guess that she knew the beggar but is too afraid to say.’

  Bella cuddled Leonie to her and shuddered. ‘She must be cared for. I’ll speak to Mrs Brewster and see what can be arranged, but I’ll not let any of the lower servants look after Leonie. We’ll manage between us.’

  ‘Humph,’ said Maria, gazing pointedly at the spreading stain on Bella’s dress. ‘Better change your dress before you send
for Brewster. And don’t expect me to help you – I’ve got my hands full here.’

  Bella had already decided that Kitty would not be well looked after below stairs, even before she interviewed Mrs Brewster on the subject. To her surprise, Mrs Brewster was in total agreement with her and suggested that Kitty would benefit from a week or two in the care of Betty Scully. George was sent off in a cab to Tanner’s Passage and returned an hour later with a written note from Betty, saying that she would be happy to look after Kitty for as long as her ladyship wanted. Next morning, ignoring Maria’s protests that it was not seemly for her to go gallivanting around town in a hired cab, Bella accompanied Kitty to Tanner’s Passage.

  ‘Heaven help us. What did that brute do to you?’ cried Betty, flinging her arms around Kitty. ‘Come upstairs and we’ll make you comfy on the sofa with Poll. She’ll be so pleased to see you.’

  Following them up the narrow staircase, Bella waited until Betty had fussed about settling Kitty on the sofa and wrapping her in a crocheted blanket despite her protests. While Kitty was occupied calming Polly’s excited babbling, Bella drew Betty aside.

  ‘Do you know who did this terrible thing to her?’

  ‘I got a good idea but Kitty won’t split on him.’

  ‘Then you must, Mrs Scully. You must tell the police.’

  ‘It’s Betty, your ladyship.’

  ‘And it’s Bella, Betty.’

  ‘Come downstairs and have a cup of tea. I’ll tell you everything, but only if you promise to keep it to yourself.’

  Sitting in Betty’s kitchen, Bella sipped her tea, listening in silence while Betty told her enough about Kitty’s past life to bring her to tears. The story was so painfully familiar to her own that she was even more determined to protect Kitty. Finally, after saying goodbye to Kitty and promising to bring her home as soon as she was fully recovered, Bella handed Betty a purse full of money to pay for Kitty’s keep.

  ‘Don’t worry about our Kitty,’ Betty called out as Bella climbed into the waiting cab. ‘I’ll take good care of her.’